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April 29, 2003

TKO

The past three weeks have been a battle of will and endurance. It felt like I was put in a boxing match, with my eyes blind folded, fighting an unseen foe. I throw jabs, crosses, and hooks. All of which wildly missed and exhausted from my fight, I stumble to the corner. There I felt the pain of leather to skin, the stinging sensation of a pinch, and I gasp for air. As the bell rings I stagger to my corner, exhausted and beaten. One round down 9 more to go.

After being stunned and almost bludgeon to death, I removed my blind fold. There in front of me, to my horror was a heavy weight boxer, cynically laughing at me. Heís been teasing me this whole time. What do I do? Do I succumb to his overwhelming power or do I fight? Fight for all of the feather weights out there, to show that we will not be bullied, and I will not fail at a task I so unwillingly put myself into.

What is my point? The story above is analogous to my 3 weeks of programming pain. I procrastinated to do my semester project until the past few weeks. The heavy weight champ is SVE, the undocumented beast that only succeeds at beating me down to the POS that I am. SVE (Simple Virtual Environment) is a graphical library to help create a 3D world. As mentioned earlier, it's poorly documented and is still in its early stages of development. I have no clue what I'm doing with it. I spend endless hours trying to resolve mysterious errors. As one error is resolved 5 more pops up. The process itself seems to be endless.

Within the past week my professor confronted me with his disappointment and articulated his opinion about my failure to succeed in completing the project. I have spent many sleepless nights to work on this project and it seems like in the end I might just get shafted. yeahhh ... my dream of a 4.0 is just a dream. Doesn't matter I'll still keep fighting and I'll be damn if anyone kicks me when I'm down. Biatch better watch out I might kick back!

One last note. If anyone is even reading this. I would like to put a plug in for Jeff from www.suckerpunchphoto.com . He has great content and great pictures! Check it out!!!!

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Sometimes there really isnít any point in crying. You just got to accept your fate. So today (4/30/03 @ 1:30pm) I gave a demo to Dr. Bowman. The man is almost ruthless; everything we did was a disappointment. As I walk out, hanging my head low and watery eyes, thinking, I have already dug myself a grave for the semester. Here he was kicking me while I was down so I would fall into the grave. *sigh* Well nothing else to do now but accept what was given to me and move on. This has been another low note in my life and my academic career mostly down the drain. I guess on a good note, I can use this as inspiration, motivation, and stimulus to not let this happen again. Oh I hate to fail!

Posted by thy at 11:16 PM | Comments (2)

April 21, 2003

SNIP SNAP

Do I have an eye for things other don't? Or do my eyes and thoughts deceive me? As I walk I see images in my head. I can only dream of capturing these images with my camera. What I have seen has given me a bit of gratification. Is there more to my pictures then what I have taken? I hope for more but some just stand on their own and tell their own story.

A secret garden? Hidden among the maze of hokie stone buildings that surrounds us is a miniature oasis. A place at first resembles that of a very well kept garden. As you peer deeper within its lush interior a secret emerges. Fairies do not prance about but aura of spring and dash of lust lingers in the air. The lust for plants and their enduring beauty prominently displays along the many pathways around this hidden garden. Deep inside hides a man make pond that trickles its way down a hill to a modest waterfall. Then the water trails under a miniature bridge and settles down at the bottom pond. Ducks wade their way through and I suspended in a moment that I have found a secret. A secret no longer but an oasis kept by the horticulture department that should be appreciated and relished.

Posted by thy at 12:30 AM | Comments (0)

April 12, 2003

LOST

I have been prolonging this entry for a while. I've been trying to reassest what I'm doing with my pictures. I walk around campus loitering among the crowd. I sometimes become lost and bewildered to what I'm doing. As I look around I always think, a picture can capture a moment and freeze it's beauty. Then I look around, how can I take a picture and at the same time capture every allurement that is around me ? Sometimes it just seems pointless, no matter how many pictures I take. There just doesn't seem to capture the beauty and not even the moment. It only captures my failure as a photographer and my inexperience.

As you browse through these photos you see my subjects is nature. It stands still and hold no emotions. It sways in the wind but still always provide you with it's best face. Never judging, never looking back. Its elegance is there for you to see, seeing with ones eye is easy, but capturing with a camera's eye is a trick. Condensing the world to a flat 2D surface does not do nature justices. So what is the point? There really isn't any point. The only point is if it captures the viewer's eye(interest) then the image has done it's job.

My job however is far from complete. I have yet to capture what I have set out to do. College is not about blooming flowers or plants around campus. It's not about the class room or the architecture. Just like a country and its diverse elements, it's about the people, the student, and the environment of a university.

Posted by thy at 03:12 PM | Comments (0)

April 07, 2003

RENT in DC ?

Well I went back to N.Va again for the weekend. Initially, a while back i wanted to go home for the cherry blossoms. As it turns out my friend John Costigan was going to see RENT in Balitmore. Hey I haven't seen a "show" in a while and it'll give me a chance to check out DC.

DC was a bit crazy, people, people, and more people. Elbow to elbow, neck to neck. They're every where, just as if tourist season was in full swing. Everyone lost in their own enjoyment. The sound of laughter and tÍte-ŗ-tÍte muffles the air. This was a goldmine of a place to capture the essence of a person and freeze the moment. But in a goldmine where do I begin to dig? Bewildered and amazed by the bounty of choices I shrunk and withdrew from my camera. The best images for me are in my head, the ones that I feel, smell, hear, and touch. No image can capture all those elements and provide me with the vividtry that I so acutely require. The weather itself was not so cooperative. The clouds badly diffuse the sun, and glare on my camera lens. In the end I stood, looked, and absorbed. I absorbed the people, the seasonal blooms, and the chit chat that so overwhelmingly surrounds me.

Rent on the other hand was pretty good. We raced our way to Balitmore and just barely made it on time. We had front center seats which was great. I couldn't take any pictures since it's prohibited by "LAW" to take any pictures. The amazing part is that during intermission I was walking around to see if I could find ANY asian person. I was the ONLY asian person there. It felt kinda odd. Balitmore was actually a pretty nice place. I have to check it out again when I come back next month.

Now to plan for this summer's trip and nothing beats Maui Myth and Magic! It puts RENT to shame, well almost! Les Miserable is awesome too!

Posted by thy at 03:58 PM | Comments (0)